Senior Year Jitters

The summer is coming to an end and I am not ready for school to begin. School starts on Tuesday. I am getting anxious and jittery. All summer, I was excited and ready to start the school year. My last year, ready to move on with my life and become an adult, but to be honest, the closer the school year comes, the more nervous I get. I'm not nervous about college or taking on the responsibilities of an adult, I am worried about how much stress I am going to be put through, worried I won't time to slow down and breathe. I want to get a job this year to help save up for Florida, and I am worried that between the job, school, and clinicals, I won't have time to hang out or blog, or have some 'me' time. Now that I think about it, I will have time. Even in the most stressful of times, I have been able to find time to slow down and relax. The thing I most excited about is I don't have a math class this year. Math took up a lot of time and I was very stressed out. Math doesn't come easy to me, but this year, I don't have it and that frees up a lot of time, and that makes me so happy! 

This year, I am going to be a better me. I have always been kind hearted and helpful, but I admit, I have been somewhat judemental in the past (mostly about myself), and I haven't been humble, I am always wanting something that I don't have and I have a hard time seeing the things I do have. This year, I am going to work on being more humble, I am going to keep a smile on my face even through hard times, and I am going to remember to take care of myself, example: Breathe and melt the stress. Like I said before, I need to take time for myself and just relax. This year, I will be dealing with a lot of college stuff, I will be working and I am being thrown into the professional medical world this year with clinicals. I keep reminding myself that others have survived through their senior year of CAL, and through their clinicals, and through finding their colleges and such. I have already found my college, I just have to get there. 

I can do this, I have the support of my family and friends to back me up incase I fall down or need a boost. That is what helps and that is also what keeps me from running in the opposite direction... But we all know you can't run away from your problems or fears, they will chase right after you. 

This year, I am also going to change my fashion style, not much, but just going to spruce it up a bit. I am going out of my comfort zone, out of the comfort of throwing on jeans and a t-shirt. I want to dress more girly and dress in some dresses and skirts. This year will be a great year, I have to keep positive, and I have to keep a smile on my face. I want to keep all my friends this year, I am hoping that I won't lose anymore friends this year. Every single year, I have lost friends, my junior year was the absolute worst, I lost so many friends, but I also gained a lot of friends. Gained more friends than I lost, now that I think about it. 

I am going to make this year count. High school has been sort of bla to me. Been bored with it, and ready to move on, or been so stressed out that I have panic attacks, I know I will be even more stressed out in the future when life hits me in the face sometimes. But this year, I am going to try to make it to every foot ball game, going to make it to my friend's dancing competitions, going to do lots of fun things with my family, and make memories every day. 

After writing down my goals for this year, and all the things I am worried about, my stress has melted off. I am ready to conquer this year. If hardships do come up, I will handle them with grace.